Thursday, 5 February 2015

Day 98

I saw a T-shirt today that said, 'Life is a special occasion.'

Yes, I thought to myself.  Yes, it is.

And I wanted to grab a permanent marker and scrawl 'no matter what the scales say' across the bottom.  But that may have been slightly weird for the person wearing the shirt.

What I'm learning - gear-grindingly slowly it would seem - is that life is a gift to be savoured no matter what our size.  When my weight piled back on and I was in the grip of vicious relationship with both food and myself, I was socially avoidant (fancy pants psychology term for hiding).  With four children I could always blame one of them for being sick as a reason to miss a party or gathering.  I simply stopped going out because of how I looked.

I look back now on those missed weddings, 40ths and 50ths parties with a sense of remorse.  They won't come again.  I didn't feel worthy of joining those special occasions because of my size.

I don't want to miss anything else. I'd like to think my social avoidance was like, so 2014.   I want to get out there, in my bumbling introverted way, and make the most of life, and all it throws at me.  Because, after all, it is the ultimate special occasion.


Indigo Kate x